Monday, December 19, 2011

Plenum (guest post by Yavx)

I've been in correspondence with a (now formerly) homeless person who has asked to write some guest posts for this blog. This person wants to remain anonymous, so I'll refer to him (or maybe her) as Yavx. That is obviously not this person's real name, and no, I'm not going to tell you how we arrived at that pseudonym. Suffice it to say that if this person's identity becomes known it could place them in actual danger.

Without further ado then I present Yavx's first post.



As human beings each and every one of us creates our own reality. Our own magically tinted view of the world with beautiful inconsistencies and imperfections. What makes our realities even more magical is that we can share them. Our realities are shared realities. To be human means sharing our weird little worlds with others. It can be in tiny fragments with the guys at work or in huge chunks with ones we love. We thrive by defining our realities with respect to one another. That is the glue that binds all of us together in so many complicated ways. It's so intrinsic to us that we can't imagine life without it, but what if one day it just disappears? What if there is no one at the other end?

That's what stung the most during my stint on the streets.

You can try to forget about the impending sense of doom. You quickly get over the physical discomfort, but that emptiness stays with you. Even though I've been off the streets for quite some time, the emptiness is still there. It fuels my worst fears. In a strange way it fuels me. I strive. I get things done no matter what, because I know that if I slip up I'll be back out in the vacuum with that formless, shapeless, tasteless, and terrifying emptiness.

I want to fill this vacuum and that's what I'll be blogging about; finding ways to fill this vacuum inside of me and helping others do the same.

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